Stripes is a 1981 comedy about two friends who are dissatisfied with their jobs decide to join the army for a bit of fun.

Finally, the Racing Stripes script is here for all you quotes spouting fans of the zebra movie. This script is a transcript that was painstakingly transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of Racing Stripes. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and I'll be eternally tweaking it, so if you have any corrections, feel free to drop me a line. This is a trio of the movie scripts for the original Star Wars movies, published in 1994. This is a nice script from the movie Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III. This is a script like they give out to the cast and crew. This script is 111 pages.

Directed by Ivan Reitman. Written by Harold Ramis, Len Blum, and Daniel Goldberg.

John Winger[edit]

• [breaking up a fight] Cut it out! Cut it out! Cut it out! The hell's the matter with you?! Stupid! We're all very different people. We're not Watusi. We're not Spartans. We're Americans, with a capital 'A', huh? You know what that means? Do ya? That means that our forefathers were kicked out of every decent country in the world. We are the wretched refuse. We're the underdog. We're mutts! Here's proof: his nose is cold! But there's no animal that's more faithful, that's more loyal, more loveable than the mutt. Who saw Old Yeller? Who cried when Old Yeller got shot at the end? [raises his hand] Nobody cried when Old Yeller got shot? I'm sure. [hands are reluctantly raised] I cried my eyes out. [even more hands go up] So we're all dogfaces. We're all very, very different, but there is one thing that we all have in common: we were all stupid enough to enlist in the Army. We're mutants. There's something wrong with us, something very, very wrong with us. Something seriously wrong with us! We're soldiers, but we're American soldiers! We've been kickin' ass for 200 years! We're 10 and 1! Now we don't have to worry about whether or not we practiced. We don't have to worry about whether Captain Stillman wants to have us hung. All we have to do is to be the great American fighting soldier that is inside each one of us. Now do what I do, and say what I say. And make me proud. Fall in!

Russell Ziskey[edit]

• I've always been kind of a pacifist. When I was a kid, my father told me, 'Never hit anyone in anger, unless you're absolutely sure you can get away with it.' I don't know what kind of soldier I'm gonna make, but I want you guys to know that if we ever get into real heavy combat .. I'll be right behind you guys. Every step of the way.

Dialogue[edit]

Russell: You could join a monastery.

Winger: Did you ever see a monk get wildly fucked by some teenage girls?

Russell: Never.

Winger: So much for the monastery.

Recruiter: Now, are either of you homosexuals?

Winger: You mean like flaming?

Recruiter: Well, it's a standard question we have to ask.

Russell: No, we're not homosexual, but we are willing to learn.

Winger: Yeah .. would they send us someplace special?

Sgt. Hulka: Men, welcome to the United States Army. I'm Sergeant Hulka. I'm your drill sergeant. Before we proceed any further, we gotta get something straight. Your mamas are not here to take care of you now. It's just you, me, and Uncle Sam. And before I leave you, you're gonna find out that me and Uncle Sam are one in the same.

Winger: Uncle Hulka?

Sgt. Hulka: When I tell you move, you'll move fast. When I tell you to jump, you're gonna say, 'How high?' And make no mistake. I don't care where you come from, I don't care what color you are, I don't care how smart you are, I don't care how dumb you are, 'cause I'm gonna teach every last one of you how to eat, sleep, walk, talk, shoot, shit like a United States soldier. Understand?

Psycho: The name's Francis Soyer, but everybody calls me Psycho. Any of you guys call me Francis, and I'll kill you.

Leon: Ooooooh.

Psycho: You just made the list, buddy. And I don't like nobody touching my stuff. So just keep your meat-hooks off. If I catch any of you guys in my stuff, I'll kill you. Also, I don't like nobody touching me. Now, any of you homos touch me, and I'll kill you.

Sgt. Hulka: Lighten up, Francis.

Oxburger: My name's Dewey Oxburger. My friends call me Ox. You might have noticed that, uh, I've got a slight weight problem.

Soldiers: Nooo! Noooo!

Oxburger: Yeah, yeah I do. Yeah, I do. I went to this doctor. Well, he told me I swallow a lot of aggression.. along with a lot of pizzas! Ha Ha Ha! Pizzas! I'm basically a shy person, I'm a shy guy. Uh, he suggested taking one these uh, aggression training courses. You know these aggression training courses like EST, those type of things. Anyway, it cost 400 bucks! 400 bucks to join this thing? Well I didn't have the money and I thought to myself, 'Join the army'! It's free. So I figured while I'm here I'll lose a few pounds. And you got what, a 6 to 8 week training program here? A real tough one. Which is perfect for me. I'm going to walk out of here a Lean, Mean, Fightin' Machine! Ha ha ha ha!

Sgt. Hulka: Okay, Mr. Push-ups, let's hear your story.

Winger: Chicks dig me, because I rarely wear underwear and when I do it's usually something unusual. But now I know why I have always lost women to guys like you. I mean, it's not just the uniform. It's the stories that you tell. So much fun and imagination. [points to the soldier next to him] Lee Harvey, you are a madman. When you stole that cow, and your friend tried to make it with the cow. I want to party with you, cowboy. But the two of us together? Forget it! I'm gonna go out on a limb here. I'm gonna volunteer my leadership to this platoon. An army without leaders is like a foot without a big toe. And Sergeant Hulka isn't always gonna be there to be that big toe for us. I think that we owe a big round of applause to our newest, bestest buddy, and big toe.. Sergeant Hulka.

[the soldiers start clapping]

Sgt. Hulka: Well, okay, hotshot. We're gonna see what kind of soldier you are.

Sgt. Hulka: Soldier, I've noticed that you're always last.

Winger: I'm pacing myself, Sergeant.

Sgt. Hulka: We got a full day ahead of us. We're gonna start out with a five-mile run.

[Soldiers groan]

Winger: I know that I'm speaking for the entire platoon when I say this run should be postponed until this platoon is better rested.

Sgt. Hulka: Well, I'll tell you what, soldier. Let's make it ten miles.

Sgt. Hulka: I'm talking about something important, like discipline and duty and honor and courage. And you ain't got none of it!

Winger: Those words mean so much to a man who scrubs garbage cans. Look, if you don't want me in your Army, kick me out, but get off my back.

Sgt. Hulka: Maybe you'd like to take a swing at me.

Winger: I 'd like to take a big swing at you, sarge.

Sgt. Hulka: Well, go ahead and give it your best shot.

Winger: I don't think I want to go to the stockade.

Sgt. Hulka: I'll take my hat off. There we are, Winger. Ain't no more drill sergeant. It's just you and me, kid, man to man. So go ahead, give it your best shot. Swing at me. Gutless. Punk.

[Winger fakes, then tries to hit Sgt. Hulka, who ducks and punches Winger in his stomach, dropping him to his knees, gasping for breath.]

Sgt. Hulka: [putting his hat back on] I'm willing to forget this little incident. And I want you to think real hard about it. And maybe someday you'll understand what the hell I'm talking about.

Russell: [tackling Winger] Where do you think you're going? Are you going AWOL? Are you going AWOL?

Winger: No, I'm deserting.

Russell: You idiot! You desert now, it's a federal offense!

Winger: I'll take my chances with the feds!

Russell: You're not going anywhere! You listen to me! You're gonna finish basic training! You're gonna keep your mouth shut, and you're gonna do everything he tells you! You know why?

Winger: Why?

Russell: Because you talked me into this, you idiot! It was your idea!

Winger: I didn't talk you into this. You NEEDED this.

Russell: [drags John back to the ground] I'm gonna kill you, damn you! Where's the great pay? Where's the travel? Where's the Winnebago, Goddamnit!

Capt. Stillman: [after the men were arrested in a women's mud wrestling bar fight] Well, explain yourselves.

Oxburger: Well sir, we were going to this bingo parlor at the YMCA, well one thing led to another, and the instructions got all fouled up..

Capt. Stillman: Shut up.

Oxburger: Okay, Sir.

Capt. Stillman: You men are a disgrace. Maybe a few days in the stockade will help you change your rotten attitudes.

Cruiser: But, um, we're supposed to graduate tomorrow, sir.

Capt. Stillman: That's even better. Tomorrow, you'll be on parade in front of General Barnicke. And when he sees what total fuck-ups you are, I will recommend that your whole platoon repeat the entire course of basic training.

Gen. Barnicke: Where the hell have you been, soldier?

Winger: Traaaaaaaining, sir!

Soldiers: Training, sir!

Gen. Barnicke: What kind of training, son?

Winger: Aaaaaaarmy training, sir!

Soldiers: Army training, sir!

[laughter]

Gen. Barnicke: Where's your drill sergeant, men?

Winger: Blown up, sir!

Soldiers: Blown up, sir!

Capt. Stillman: Uhh, yes, sir, these are Sgt. Hulka's men. He was injured during basic training.

Gen. Barnicke: I see. So am I to understand you men completed your training on your own?

Winger: Tha's the fact, Jack!

Soldiers: That's the fact, Jack!

Gen. Barnicke: Captain, these are exactly the kind of go-getters I want on my EM-50 project.

Capt. Stillman: But, sir . . .

Gen. Barnicke: Don't 'But' me, Captain. I want them on the plane. Tonight!

Winger: Gentlemen, it's party time..battalion style!

Winger: C'mon, it's Czechoslovakia. We zip in, we pick 'em up, we zip right out again. We're not going to Moscow. It's Czechoslovakia. It's like we're going into Wisconsin.

Russell: Well, I got the shit kicked out of me in Wisconsin once. Forget it.

Russell: Do the words 'Act of War' mean anything to you?

Winger: I have a plan.

Russell: Great! Custer had a plan.

Tagline[edit]

• The story of a man who wanted to keep the world safe for democracy..and meet girls.

Cast[edit]

• Bill Murray — John Winger
• Harold Ramis — Russell Ziskey
• Warren Oates — Sgt. Hulka
• John Candy — Dewey Oxburger
• P.J. Soles — Stella Hansen
• Sean Young — Louise Cooper
• John Larroquette — Capt. Stillman
• John Diehl — Cruiser
• Judge Reinhold — Elmo
• Conrad Dunn — Francis 'Psycho' Soyer

External links[edit]

• Stripes quotes at the Internet Movie Database
• Stripes at Rotten Tomatoes

Racing StripesScript - transcript from the screenplay and/or zebra movieRacing StripesScript - Dialogue TranscriptVoila! Finally, the Racing Stripesscript is here for all you quotes spouting fans of the zebra movie.  This script is a transcript that was painstakinglytranscribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of Racing Stripes. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and I'll be eternallytweaking it, so if you have any corrections, feel free to. You won'thurt my feelings.

Honest.Swing on back to afterwards for more!Racing StripesScriptWe gotta jack it up. We need help here.Hey, we got a flat tire in the back now.They gotta get that unloaded.Slim, get over there.I don't need you working on the tarp.I got it, I got it! Pull it down.Hook it at the bottom.Just get out of the way. Come on.Hey, guys, get out of the truck.We need a hand out here. Hurry up.Come on, they got a flat tire down there.Let's go, let's go. We gotta get down there.The animals are getting spooked.Hurry up. Hurry, now.We've gotta get it unloaded.Don't worry about it.

Just let it go.No, no. No, five of them. Go.Don't worry about that.Don't let the zebras run. Stay with them.-Both of you, come here.-Everything's off.-No, no, no.-All right, it's good.

It's good.We'll load them upas soon as the tire's on.Load them back on!Don't forget anything!-Come on. There you go.-Go. Go.-Let's go.-We've got it.-We got everything?-We've got it all.What the.? Hey, there.Hey, boy, just calm down.It's all right. It's all right.There we go. There you go.It's all right.It's all right.

There you go.-All right.-You weren't kidding.Can we keep him, Daddy?Can we, please?I don't know, it's.You know, he's probably got all kindsof special needs. We should.-We should probably call the zoo and.-No.No zoos. You know I don't like the ideaof animals in cages.Honey, neither do I,but let's just see what we got here.Let's. I gotta think about this.Well, first things first.

Let's get himsome blankets and warm milk.Okay, don't get too carried away.-Stop waking me up.-What's in the basket?Hey, Tucker. Did you see that?You seen one funny-looking horse,you seen them all.Oh, come on.Get out there and say hello.-Wake me up when he leaves.-You know what, I'll do it myself.That's the weirdest-looking horseI've ever seen.Oh, he's cute. Tucker, come out hereand meet our guest.I'm coming.

I swear, Franny,the funnier-looking the animal.the more you wanna keep it.-Kept you, didn't I?Well, subdivide me and Kentucky-fry me.You know what, Tucker,you cut those bangs.you and him could be cousins.-Bad hair.-Just thinking out loud. Thinking out loud.-Question time.-What exactly are you?-Good question.-I don't know.-Okay, we can rule out genius.Don't make me chew open a canof pony whup.Save the sweet talk for later.Don't pay any attention to him.Listen, he's all whinny and no bite.I'm Franny, this is Reggie,and Mr. Sensitive here is Tucker.And that old goat there is an old goat.It's the Chief.-You used to be so nice.-Yeah, I know, but I got over it.Why do you have to besuch a horse's.?Well, let's just get you dried off first,all right?He's got real strong legs.He's quite the little athlete.Hey, buddy.Why don't you grab the milkand see if he'll come to you.Come here, boy. Come on.Come on. There you are.Come on, boy.Come on.Attaboy.-Welcome to your new home, Stripes.-Stripes?Well, 'Spot' doesn't work, now, does it?You like that name, don't you?Stripes.Well, I'll take that as a yes.Good morning, Walsh Farm!Well, I know it's not glamorous,but it's a living.Keeps my head on my shoulders, whichis more than I can say for my cousins.Simmer down there, Lightning.Hey, hey, slow down.

Boy, oh, boy.Kids these days, no control.Now, back in my day.Oh, here we go again withthe ancient-history lesson. Enough.Now we're in for it.And the horses are entering the starting gates.Oh, what is that?That is the only reasonfor a horse to live, kid.It's called a racetrack.Oh, there's more to lifethan running around in a circle.Well, maybe to you. It's like this:Humans race, horses race.There was even a Chicken Run, but there'snever been a goat race.

Ever, ever, ever.Get the picture, Franny?-Could I race?-It's complicated.It takes a lot of workto become a racehorse.-What's a racehorse?-They're the greatest.Once a year, there's a big raceto see who's the best.By the way, the horses that won every yearwere the ones we trained.-Why did you quit?-lxnay on the other-may.Say what you mean.We haven't spoken Latin since the pigs left.Oh, all right.A few years ago, the girl's motherhad an accident.Yeah. Her horse stumbledand neither one of them could be saved.-The Chief couldn't bear to train after that.-And neither did we.Hey, look, they're ready to go.-How come none of them have stripes?-You take this one.Thanks.Just unlucky, I guess.And they're off.

Flash of Thunder's.Look at them. Look at them run.Watch me, I'm a racehorse.Well, would you look at him?He loves to run. It's in his heart.-But that's not enough.-You could train him.-Then it would be enough.-Let me tell you something.The legs are too short, the head's too big.He's got as much chance to race as me.Besides, I have got better things to do.-Oh, go fix your hair.-I heard that.Watch me, I'm in the big race.Excuse me.

Racehorse coming through.Whoa, look at that.-Come on.-Dude, I'm right with you.Whoa, nice mohawk.That's funny. Mohawk.-What's a mohawk?-Shut up, you idiot.-You guys train to race?-Yeah, you want a taste?-Ready, set, go. Catch me if you can.-Hey, I wasn't ready.Come on, you slowpoke! Yeah!-I'm not even in second gear yet.-Yeah, he's not even in second gear yet.Last one to the fence is a donkey.-Dude, it's your dad.-Great.Son. Stay away from that fence.Come on, Dad.We were just having some fun.Fun is overrated.If you're going to be a champion,I suggest you start acting like one.-Oh, your dad scares me, dude.-Not me.-Pride! Ruffshodd!-Coming, Father.Yeah, coming, Mr. Sir Trenton, sir.I don't understand.Why won't he let them play with me?You're just different.And for some horses, different is scary.Come on, he's never late.I'm all ready to go.

Where is he?Oh, here he comes.Bring it on. Show me what you got.Here we go.Better luck tomorrow!Dang! I had him today.-She's just not right today, Mr.

Cooper.-Yep.-Better give her a break.-Okay.You call that jumping?Looked like she was having a seizure.Sorry, Miss Dalrymple.She seemed a bit shy on the high jump.so I thought I'd take it easy.-Of course you did.But, you know, the thing is,I don't pay you to take it easy.I pay you to train.You can only push a horse so hard.Cooper, Cooper, Cooper.Why must you be so tedious?Okay, here's the deal.Now, as long as I am signing your checks,you will push her as hard as I tell you to.Don't you have a board meetingat the track to get to?As a matter of fact, I do.Yo, yo, Pride. Check out the new filly.What a mane.Look at those flanks.Watch.

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She's gonna come straight for me.Do I have anything in my teeth?You always have somethingin your teeth, Ruffshodd.-Hey, where's she going?-Excuse me.-Would you care to join me for a drink?-A drink. Good call.No.Talk to the tail, boys.Did you ever consider going aroundthat tree instead of through it?Yeah, well, usually it movesout of my way.I've never heard of a tree doing that.You don't know the trees here.Are you new?-Just got here.